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I like hard sex even though Im a feminist. Men hardly understand what I want from them-and I have made it difficult for myself to deal with this contradiction. He was young, multimillionaire (like all the residents of Monte-Carlo) and beautiful. We had a date on the terrace of the Hermitage Hotel in Monaco. In the course of the evening he told me that all women want to be dominated deep inside, thats what biology is pretending. I only raised one eyebrow and immediately disagreed. I dont want to be controlled by a man in any way in my life-but when I have sex I make an exception to a certain extent. I didnt say that at that moment, though, because I didnt want him to feel confirmed in his view. Nor did I want to encourage him to continue to see women as servants given to him by nature. So he had no idea how horny his talk paradoxically made me. On the first evening we did not sleep together. When I went to him the next day to say goodbye before my departure, he stood behind me, turned me around and kissed me. I breathed deeply and convinced myself to let myself fall for once. The fear I usually have when I have sex with strangers vanished into thin air. He was perfect in every way. Every word, every touch on the hip, neck, hair, face. I experienced pain and ecstasy at the same time. He had made this dream come true for me.

Hard sex gives you the best satisfaction

But I see myself as a feminist, and it is quite difficult and confusing to like harder sex at the same time. In everyday life I dont let anyone tell me anything, but in the bedroom I bend like an Olympic gymnast (figuratively). It can also be very embarrassing and unpleasant to talk about these wishes. We live in a world where women demand equality, and I like to share my feminist views on the first date. They used to suspend me from school countless times because I didnt obey an authority figure. So I can justifiably claim not to be a submissive yes-man who doesnt dare to go her own way. I am proud of that, because giving contra is not always easy and at the same time very important. And then I have to admit somehow that I want to be taken hard and listen to hard dirty talk. Its hard enough to understand all this yourself somehow-how am I supposed to explain it to others? I used to think there was just no such thing as really intense excitement with me. After my encounter with the millionaire it became clear to me that lack of foreplay and too little determination on the part of my partner stood in the way of my excitement. Because I didnt manage to express my feelings, I had to put up with flower sex and lots of lubricant. But why didnt you just tell them to be more dominant, some people have already asked me. That would be the most logical step, wouldnt it? Think. As soon as the words hard and dominant leave my mouth, they try to ram my cock into it. What follows is their own version of some 50 shades scene and some sick shit they saw on Pornhub. I guess one problem with kink or fetish is that these terms cover everything from a light butt slap to needles, electric shocks and other proper torture methods.

Hard doesnt always have to be called BDSM

Its really scary to look for a man who understands this delicate balance and gives me so much confidence that I can give him control of my body. Even if he is willing to try that, he will often approach the matter with ideas that I find totally disgusting. How do I tell the man I have asked to take control that he should not do to me what he wants? I also understand how difficult it can be for many men to cope. Ive had men who were so nervous and intimidated by me that they didnt know what to do, so they just rammed away as if they were having a seizure. Or those who have no idea what they should think of as sexual determination and therefore demand such a precise description from me that I could actually become an erotica writer. But by far the worst men are those who think my testimony means that Im into punching them in the face and want to lick their soles. Holy shit, no. If I see even the slightest sign that Im dealing with one of these, Im getting out of here. Dominance comes from every action, every movement, every little hint. It manifests itself in the way someone positions hands and other body parts with clear intent and control. It is a complex dance with someone who knows how to lead not brute force and humiliation. And I had to learn to let myself be led like that in the first place. I was always petite and flat on top, so I experienced a lot of bullying and self-doubt. Most of my life I always wore a T-shirt or a bra during sex. It took me a long time to feel sexy. This wild feeling that someone desires me, is determined and dominant, without scaring me-this is the highest of the sexy feelings, where I forget all the complexes. Even today it doesnt always work, but at least I know by now that I am very capable of it.

Just the right amount of pain

It brings an incomparable thrill to play with just the right amount of pain. When a man takes enough time to explore me, he gives me his undivided attention, and thats what turns me on. If my body reacts physically positive to something I normally reject in my head, it is both confusing and overwhelming. I dont want to do without it because of principles. In the situations I am talking about, I have the opportunity to actively choose to give up control over my body - no one takes control away from me against my will. This gesture can have something liberating about it. The biggest problem with this is actually finding a man who can do things to me that are almost humiliating, and who still respects me as an equal afterwards. Just because I like to kneel before you in a certain situation doesnt mean I want a life on my knees.


180 DEGREES OF MALEDOM VR

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049 - Lazy Maid’s Ticklish Punishment VR

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Back Stage Pass - Part 2 VR

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Pole Dancer VR

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